I’ve always admired the late American author and poet, Sylvia Plath, for her raw, confessional poetry, and one of her quotes has always stuck with me: “There must be quite a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.” As I sank into my own fragrant bubble-filled bath, Bruno Mars playing softly in the background, I couldn’t agree more.
In the quiet moments, before the bustle of the workday and life in general, I shifted my thoughts to myself. For the first time in decades, I can literally do whatever I want. I suddenly felt freer than I ever had and at the same time overwhelmed. I mean, it’s one thing to look at the chapters of my life within the associated constraints of my family, my life partner, and other influencing factors. I coulda, shoulda, and didn’t do a lot of things because of these people and conditions. But now that I’m on my own again, my next chapter awaits and I can be its only author. Now what?
What is a confessional, you ask? In this context, Merriam-Webster Dictionary tells us that a confessional is ‘characterized by unguarded openness or self-revelation’.
To this looming challenge, I decided that my bathtub would become my morning “confessional”. I asked myself one simple question: What life experiences have I thought about that I haven’t yet experienced? I wasn’t prepared to, seemingly out of nowhere, be flooded with examples…salsa dancing, pastry making, becoming fluent in Spanish followed by an adventure in a Spanish-speaking country, and much more. My empty hot water tank provided reminders that my confessional contemplation was nearing its end. I decided to take a step forward but gave myself permission to take things slow. As my fragrant bath drained from the confessional, I made the following to-do list:
- Clear my schedule for a few hours this week to find a nearby vintage bookstore.
- Leisurely poke around to find books on pastry making, Spanish lessons, and dancing.
- Find or create a cozy corner in my house.
- Don comfy loungewear, fuzzy socks, and a soft blanket, play inspiring music, and begin reading to inform the writing of my next chapter.
What’s waiting for you in your confessional?