Let me take you back to a time in my life when everything felt uncertain. I was going through a divorce with my 7-year-old daughter, and I was determined to keep our home. I couldn’t bear the thought of uprooting her on top of everything else. But that meant finding a better-paying job. I loved the work I was doing and the people I worked with, but it wasn’t enough to support us in this new chapter. With child support coming randomly, if at all, I knew I needed a plan that was reliable.

The only person I could control was myself. So, I went in search of something new and found a job that paid more and that I absolutely fell in love with. It wasn’t easy, but when one door closes, another opens. During that time, I often had to remind myself to open a window for some fresh air when things got overwhelming—it helped me stay hopeful when I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I didn’t downsize. I kept the house and made it work. I eventually remarried, and as our family grew, we moved into a bigger home. We even began investing in real estate. Looking back now, almost three decades later, I’m amazed at how far I’ve come and the wisdom I’ve gained. Divorce was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was necessary. I was in a terrible place mentally, emotionally, and financially, and breaking free allowed me to grow and get on the path to my best life.

Here’s what I learned through my journey and what you need to know if you’re navigating real estate decisions during a divorce:

1. Figure Out What Your Home Is Really Worth

When I was going through my divorce, I knew I wanted to keep our home. But before I could make any decisions, I had to understand what the house was really worth. I worked with a real estate professional to get a Comparative Market Analysis (CMA) and eventually realized what a difference that made in my planning. Knowing the value of your home, mortgage, and any debts tied to it is essential if you want to move forward confidently.

Pro Tip: Don’t forget about any loans, mortgages, or liens. You need to understand the whole picture to make informed decisions.

2. Your Options: Keep, Sell, or Co-Own (For Now)

For me, keeping the house was a priority. I didn’t want my daughter to have more disruption in her life, so I knew I had to figure out a way to make it work. But you have a few options to consider when it comes to your home:

• Sell it and split the profits. This works for some, but I wasn’t ready to let go. Selling gives you a clean break, but it’s worth thinking through the emotional and financial impact.

• One of you keeps it. This was my choice. I made sure I could afford the mortgage on my own by finding a higher-paying job. If you want to keep the house, just be sure you can handle the expenses.

• Both of you keep it—for now. Some couples choose to co-own for a while, maybe until the kids grow up or until the market improves. If you go this route, make sure you have clear agreements in place about who’s paying for what.

3. Don’t Forget About Taxes

I’ll be honest—taxes weren’t the first thing on my mind during my divorce. But as I moved forward with my real estate plans, I realized how important it was to get a handle on them. Selling your home can have tax implications, especially if you’ve owned it for a while. Talk to a tax advisor to figure out how your decisions will impact your finances long-term.

4. Update Your Legal Paperwork

If you decide to keep your home like I did, you’ll need to update a lot of legal documents. I had to make sure the mortgage was solely in my name, and I updated the title and homeowners’ insurance, too. These steps might seem tedious, but they’re crucial for protecting your financial independence.

5. Think About Future Affordability

I was determined to make it work, and I knew keeping the house was a priority. But I had to be realistic about the costs. If you’re in a similar situation, make sure you consider not only the mortgage but also the upkeep, taxes, and unexpected expenses. In my case, I found a job that paid more, which made all the difference in maintaining our home. Ask yourself if you can manage these costs long-term—if not, it might be time to reconsider your options.

6. Build Your Support Team

I couldn’t have navigated this journey alone. I had an incredible team supporting me—my divorce attorney, a real estate agent, and a financial advisor. Together, they helped me make smart decisions for my future. Surround yourself with experts who understand what you’re going through. Having the right team makes all the difference.

7. Take Your Time

During my divorce, I was tempted to rush through the process just to get it over with. But real estate decisions aren’t ones you should take lightly. Take your time, weigh your options, and make sure you’re setting yourself up for long-term success. I’m so glad I didn’t rush into anything because it allowed me to build the life I wanted for myself and my daughter.

8. Rent or Downsize

In my case, I chose to stay in our home, but I know that’s not the right decision for everyone. If the financial burden of keeping your home is too much, consider renting or downsizing to a more affordable space. There’s no shame in choosing what’s best for your financial well-being. Years later, I moved into a bigger home when our family grew, but I made those decisions when the time was right.

9. Factor in the Kids

One of the hardest parts of my divorce was making decisions that would impact my daughter. I wanted to keep things as stable as possible for her, which is why I worked so hard to keep our home. If you’re in a similar position, think about what’s best for your children—not just in the short term, but in the long run. Stability isn’t always about staying in the same place; it’s about creating a home that feels safe and supportive.

10. Connect With a Realtor Who Gets It

Going through a divorce is hard enough, and dealing with real estate decisions on top of it can be overwhelming. I get it. That’s why I’m passionate about connecting women with realtors who have experience in handling divorce situations. I know how much difference it makes to have someone who understands what you’re going through. If you need support, I can connect you with a realtor who specializes in divorce anywhere in the world.

Final Thoughts

Divorce was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it was necessary for me to grow and build the life I have today. Whether you decide to keep your home, sell it, or start fresh, having the right information and support is key. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone—I’ve been there, and I’m here to help you through it.

Let’s talk about how you can take control of your future, just like I did. Together, we’ll figure out the best path forward for you and your family.

Janie Pugh, Realtor