The Beauty of Being Alone
a guest blog by Sarah Carson Pardue
A few days after Christmas in 2018, my husband of nearly ten years put on a movie for our two children and asked me to step into the backyard. There, he sat me down and, with quiet calm, told me he was leaving. Less than twenty minutes later, he was gone—driving away in a packed vehicle, saying he’d be back in a week to “sort out the details.” I was in absolute shock.
Four months later, I was divorced and starting over. The first time he took custody of the kids for our newly established 50/50 split was the longest I had ever been apart from them. I had been a stay-at-home mom for almost their entire lives, and the separation was devastating.
If you’ve been through the end of a marriage, you know that words often fall short. The emotional aftermath is complex and consuming. For me, it was quite possibly the most painful experience of my life—and to this day, I still feel the sting of being left so abruptly.
Even now, I work every day to rebuild a new version of my life, a process I’ve come to understand has no clear endpoint. Alongside the grief of losing my partner was another, quieter kind of grief: the loss of myself. I had become a textbook example of a woman who had sacrificed too much—pouring everything into my marriage and family. I had little to no work experience, no financial independence, and no real understanding of how to support myself
Reclaiming your identity is easier said than done. In my experience, it starts with a simple question: What do you want? The expected responses came easily: Be a good mom. Build a career. Heal. But underneath those, something deeper kept tugging at me: I wanted to see the world.
I had met my husband in my early twenties and, by the time we were married less than a year, I was a mom. Travel plans turned into postponed dreams as we built our family. I had only ever been to a handful of places, and the idea of exploring the world had always felt out of reach—or meant to be shared with someone else.
Then one day, while cleaning the house, I was struck with a wave of anxiety about my upcoming 40th birthday. I’ve never been one to celebrate birthdays in a big way, but this one felt different. Almost on impulse, I sat down and booked a round-trip flight to Costa Rica using airline miles, reserved a resort, and five days later, I was on my way—with no idea what I was doing.
On the drive to the airport, I questioned my sanity. After delays, I found myself in tears in the customs line, completely alone. When I arrived at the resort—a place clearly designed for couples—I was greeted with two welcome drinks, and I had to choke back a sob. But the next morning, everything shifted. I opened the shades to reveal a stunning landscape, breathed in the fresh air, and for the first time in a long while, I felt pride in myself. I had done this. I had shown up.
To my surprise, I never felt alone on that trip. I joined group tours, went ziplining through the jungle, hiked a volcano, and toured a coffee plantation. I felt joy—pure, uncomplicated joy. I had always believed that adventures needed to be shared to be meaningful, but I discovered that the real pleasure of an experience comes from how deeply you feel it. Sitting alone with a view, with no distractions, I noticed things more acutely. I was truly present. And in that stillness, I felt a deep appreciation—not just for where I was, but for who I was becoming.
Traveling alone has been one of the greatest healers in my post-divorce journey. With every trip, I’ve grown more confident, more grounded, and more connected to myself. But the lesson isn’t just about travel—it’s about learning to embrace your own company.
You don’t have to cross an ocean to grow. Travel doesn’t need to be the goal; it can simply be the metaphor. The absence of a partner should never be a reason to shy away from experiences. There’s power in doing things alone—whether it’s trying a new restaurant, going to a movie by yourself, or spending a quiet weekend at home with no plans and no one to entertain but yourself.
These moments, however small, are opportunities to sit with who you are—without distraction, without apology. That’s where healing begins.
This blog was written by guest blog writer
Sarah Carson Pardue.
She is a Travel Advisor for Willow + Wand and can be reached at Sarah@thewillowandwand.com.
Check out www.thewillowandwand.com to learn more!
Interested in being a guest blog writer? Reach out to us at hello@splithappens.com!
