This article was inspired by a friend of the Split Sisters who encountered some seriously suspicious behavior during her first two ventures into online dating. Both men avoided video calls citing “technical issues,” boasted impressive careers—a doctor and an orphanage director to be exact—and had bizarre excuses for why their phone numbers traced back to different names. Coincidence? Or are these types of imposters more common than we think?
When diving into the online dating world, look out for digital imposters and sweet talkers looking to cash in on your trust. Here are the key red flags to watch for and avoid:
- Refusal to Appear on Video: A common red flag is when someone avoids video calls or makes excuses not to meet in person. Scammers often claim to have technical issues, be camera-shy, or give other excuses to hide their true identity.
- Claims of Having a Reputable Job: Fraudsters often claim to have prestigious, trustworthy professions, like being a doctor, military officer, or running an orphanage. They use this to project credibility and generate sympathy, but their stories often lack verifiable details.
- Quick Proclamations of Love: Be cautious if someone you’ve just met online quickly expresses strong romantic feelings. Scammers frequently use emotional manipulation, declaring love early to build trust and control, especially if you’ve never met in person.
- Requests for Money or Personal Information: If someone you’re speaking to asks for money (Venmo or otherwise), gift cards, or sensitive personal information (like bank details or passwords), it’s a significant red flag. They often fabricate urgent situations, like a sudden medical emergency, to pressure you into sending funds.
- Inconsistent or Vague Personal Details: Scammers tend to provide inconsistent or generic answers about their background. If their story seems too vague, they avoid answering certain questions, or details frequently change, it may indicate they’re fabricating their identity.
- Too Good to Be True Profile: Someone whose appearance, lifestyle, and personality seem flawless or too perfect might not be genuine. Scammers often use stolen photos of attractive or wealthy individuals to lure in potential victims.
- Avoidance of Social Media: Another red flag is a refusal to connect on other platforms or social media, or having an overly polished yet limited online presence. They might claim privacy concerns, but this is often a tactic to avoid scrutiny.
- Frequent Travel or Living Abroad: Scammers often claim to be working abroad or traveling constantly, making it difficult to meet in person. This distance gives them an excuse to avoid video calls or real-world interactions.
- Manipulative or Pressuring Behavior: If the person becomes overly aggressive or emotionally manipulative when you hesitate to comply with their requests, it’s a clear warning sign. Genuine relationships are built on respect and boundaries, not pressure.
Staying alert to these red flags can be your best defense against online dating fraud or danger. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, don’t hesitate to ask questions or dig deeper. Your safety should always come first.
