When navigating shared custody during the holidays after a split, creative strategies can help transform what might be a difficult time into something special and even exciting. Here are some unique approaches to make the season memorable for your children and yourself, while fostering cooperation with your ex:
Holiday scavenger hunt: Hide small holiday-themed clues or gifts that lead to the handoff location. This can add a playful spirit to an otherwise emotional moment and help the kids focus on the fun rather than the transition.
Holiday-focused experiences: Instead of simply dividing days or weeks, consider the key holiday experiences your kids love and split them up that way. One parent might handle the holiday lights tour and cookie baking, while the other handles tree decorating and making hot chocolate mix jars adding marshmallows or candy canes as gifts or for cozy evenings together. It allows both parents to focus on specific memorable activities rather than stressing about exactly splitting hours. See text box for more ideas
Collaborative scrapbooking: Each year, have the kids help make photo or scrapbook collages summarizing the highlights of the holiday season with each parent. On New Year’s, swap books. It helps the kids relive and reflect on the fun they had at both homes, and it provides a physical reminder of how loved and supported they are by both parents.
Virtual storytelling or movie night: If you’re apart during the holidays, establish a tradition where you connect virtually—whether reading a holiday story over video chat, watching a movie together, or playing an online game.
Collaborative holiday stories: Have the kids start a holiday story with one parent and then take it to the other parent’s house to continue. Each year, the family can add to the story, passing it back and forth between homes, eventually creating a holiday tale that spans both sides of the family.
Creativity in co-parenting during the holidays can make what might be a tricky time into something magical and unique for your family. By thinking outside the box and focusing on new experiences, collaboration, and the children’s enjoyment, “Ex-mas” and other holidays can feel less about division and more about shared love and traditions that bridge both homes.
Holiday Movie Marathon: Pick a selection of classic holiday movies and enjoy a movie night with popcorn and hot chocolate.
DIY Movie Tickets: Have your children design and create “tickets” for the movie night, complete with assigned seats and snack menus.
Card Making for Family and Friends: Use construction paper, markers, stamps, and stickers to make homemade holiday cards to send to family and friends.
Cards for Nursing Homes or Hospitals: Create holiday cards to send to nursing homes, hospitals, or other community centers, teaching children the joy of giving.
Create a Holiday Playlist: Let each family member choose their favorite holiday songs and put together a playlist for the season.
Holiday Dance Party: Host a holiday dance party at home with festive songs and dance-offs.
