Divorce is a tough process, and while the division of assets, finances, and living arrangements can be challenging, there’s one element that often proves even trickier to navigate: the family pet. For many couples, pets are more than just animals—they’re beloved members of the family. For example, deciding who gets to keep Spot after a divorce can become a contentious and emotionally charged issue.
Luckily, there are some creative ways to make this process a bit easier and fairer. Below are some thoughtful strategies that splitting couples can use to determine who gets the dog, as well as clever ways to share custody if that’s the best solution for everyone involved.
1. Draw Straws or Flip a Coin (For Fairness)
Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. If both parties are equally attached to the pet, consider something as straightforward as drawing straws or flipping a coin. The stakes are high, but the fairness factor is also high—no one can argue with the randomness of luck.
2. Split Custody With an Official “Split Schedule”
For some couples, the best solution isn’t deciding who gets the pet, but how to share the pet in a structured way. This is becoming an increasingly popular option, especially when the pet has strong attachments to both people. Like with child custody arrangements, a detailed schedule can be drawn up to give both parties ample time with their furry friend.
Here are some options to consider for the custody schedule:
- Alternating Weeks: The pet stays with one person for a full week and then switches to the other person for the following week. This allows for long-term stability while giving both partners time with their pet.
- Split Weeks: For pets that have a strong bond with both partners, alternating between them every few days (such as Wednesday through Sunday with one person and Sunday through Wednesday with the other) could work.
- Daytime Custody + Evening Custody: If the couple is cohabiting nearby or works different hours, splitting the day into morning and evening shifts can allow both partners to play an active role in the pet’s routine.
Make sure to account for the pet’s needs and comfort. For example, some pets may not do well with frequent transitions, and others may adapt quickly. Keep a backup plan in case one person is unavailable, and always put the pet’s emotional health first.
Also, consider developing a well-crafted pet co-parenting contract that might include:
- Visitation Schedule: Detailed days and times when each party has custody of the pet.
- Financial Responsibilities: Who will cover the costs for things like veterinary bills, food, and pet-sitting services? These costs should be split or assigned in a way that feels fair to both parties.
- Emergency Protocols: How will emergencies (e.g., medical issues or a pet sitter cancellation) be handled?
- Pet’s Well-being: Special notes about the pet’s temperament, preferences, and any routines that should remain constant between households.
The structure and clarity can be helpful if there are future disputes about the pet’s care.
Pet Dates (If You’re Still Close)
If the split is relatively amicable, and both partners still get along, setting up “pet dates” is a fun way to maintain a relationship with the pet even after the primary custody decision is made. Each person can take turns taking the pet out for walks, visiting the park, or even attending pet-friendly events together. This option can help preserve the emotional bond between both parties and the pet. It’s also a great way to ease the transition for the pet, who may be confused at first but will gradually learn that both humans are still part of their world.
Trial Periods
If there’s uncertainty about who should get the pet or how a shared custody arrangement might work, a trial period can be a great way to test different scenarios. The couple could agree to a two- or three-week trial run where they each take the pet on alternating days or weeks. After the trial, they can sit down and discuss how the arrangement is working, and make adjustments as needed. The advantage of a trial period is that it allows both parties to get a feel for what works best for the pet (and themselves) before committing to a long-term plan.
Final Thoughts: The Pet’s Best Interest Comes First
At the end of the day, no matter what solution a splitting couple chooses, the well-being of the pet should be the top priority. Some pets adjust better to shared custody, while others may find it more distressing. Open communication, a cooperative mindset, and flexibility are key to making the situation work for all parties—especially the pet.
Above all, remember that the pet is a family member who deserves love, consistency, and a stable home environment. With creative thinking, mutual respect, and a little bit of humor, couples can work out a solution that helps their furry friend thrive, no matter the changes in their own lives.
