Who hasn’t been through a life transition? Divorce, a breakup, a career change, or maybe just one of those seasons where everything feels hard. We’ve all been there, overwhelmed and wondering how to keep it together.
The truth? It’s not about avoiding the tough stuff, it’s about how we move through it. Healing doesn’t just happen in therapy sessions (though that can be amazing); it can also come from the small, consistent rituals we carve out for ourselves every day. As humans, we naturally crave routine and since everything else is changing, this gives us a sense of stability.
Because in the chaos of change, our nervous system craves routine, and even the smallest rituals can remind us that we’re safe, steady, and still standing
Here’s your 8-step self-care survival guide, a way to release stress, rebuild your confidence, and yes… to glow from the inside out.
If you’re anything like me, working out isn’t exactly my love language. But here’s the truth… I hit a point where I had to do something to let go of the stress I was carrying around. So, after a four-year hiatus, I dragged myself back to spin class.
And wow. Best. Decision. Ever.
We’re all stressed. We’re all carrying something. Moving your body is one of the best ways to release it, and it doesn’t have to mean killing yourself at the gym. Here’s what’s been working for me:
1. Morning/Night Movement: Sweat Out the Stress
Yoga (Kundalini, Hot) or Pilates – Reset Your Nervous System
Ten minutes. That’s all it takes to shift your mood. An hour-long class? Even better. I’m obsessed with how yoga and Pilates clear my head… no pressure, no perfection, just stretching, breathing, and letting my body finally relax. Check out local studios in your city or town, many offer a free first class so you can see if it’s your vibe. You can also explore options at nearby community centers or even virtual classes if you’re staying in. If you want to stay home, try apps like Peloton (no bike required), Alo Moves, or Glo, all great for guided yoga and Pilates from the comfort of your own space.
Spin or Strength Training – For Anger & Anxiety
Mad? Anxious? Restless? This is my go-to. Hop on a CycleBar bike, grab some dumbbells, or honestly, hire a hot personal trainer if that makes it more fun and ups your accountability (hey, whatever works, right? 😏). I don’t even love working out, but here I am, making time for weights because stress and aging aren’t exactly kind to us. Strength training, especially as we get older, is so important for bone health, and way better for long-term wellness than endless cardio. Bonus: nothing burns off stress and/or anger like sweating through a set of heavy squats.
Nature or Beach Walks – For Grounding
This might be my favorite. I try to hit the beach at least twice a week with a friend. We talk, we laugh, we vent, and we just breathe in the salty air. But honestly? Even a stroll around the block works. Sunshine is medicine! Vitamin D lifts your mood, helps you sleep better, and clears that mental fog we all fight. And walking barefoot on grass or sand also known as grounding can help with anxiety and reduce inflammation.
I’ll be honest, meditation is hard for me. My brain runs like a computer with 47 open tabs (and of course, none of them are the one I actually need). Sitting still? Not my strong suit. But… I’m learning.
If you’re like me, start small. Even two minutes can make a difference. Seriously, just two minutes.
Here’s what I do when I can actually get myself to sit still:
And yes, there are great apps: Calm and Headspace both have free trials. But honestly? You don’t need an app. A quiet room, a candle, and your breath work just as well.
3. Skincare as a Ritual, Not a Chore
Who actually has a relaxing bathroom? Not me… mine has been under construction for three years. THREE. But finally, last week, renovations started, and I am counting the days until I can sink into a big soak tub.
But here’s the thing, you don’t need the perfect spa bathroom to turn skincare into a ritual. Post-divorce (or post-anything) skincare isn’t about looking flawless. It’s about reconnecting with your body and actually enjoying taking care of yourself again.
Here’s my 5-minute glow ritual:
Gentle Cleanse – As you wash, imagine rinsing off yesterday’s heaviness! Like literally letting it go down the drain. 
Serum or Face Oil – Massage it in slowly. Take your time. Feel your own hands on your skin! It’s grounding, and honestly, kind of healing.
Moisturize & SPF – Seal it all in. SPF 30 or higher every day… trust me, your future face will thank you.
Bonus: Once a week, pour a glass of wine (or herbal tea if you’re being good), throw on a mask, play soft music, and just be. No guilt. No rushing. Just you.
I know, I know… journaling can feel a little weird at first. But once you start? It’s actually fun. Seriously. No one’s going to read it, and you can say WHATEVER YOU WANT. Rant, cry, swear, whatever. And if you’re feeling extra dramatic, you can even burn the pages after. (Highly recommended. Very therapeutic. 😂)
The reason it works? Writing forces your brain to slow down, and sometimes that’s all you need to stop spiraling.
Here’s my quick nightly ritual:
Write 3 things you’re grateful for.
Write 1 thing you’re letting go of.
Write 1 thing you’re excited about—even if it’s as small as “good coffee tomorrow.”
Science actually backs this up! Gratitude and future-focused thinking shift your brain out of stress mode and toward hope. Releasing your thoughts onto paper allows you to ‘dump’ them onto the page and can calm spinning thoughts, allowing your mind to transition easily to sleep.
5. Nourish Your Body
Who doesn’t love sweets or salty snacks? I used to be all about chocolate, but the older I get, the more I lean team salty. (Fries over cake any day.)
Here’s my philosophy: eat in moderation and enjoy it. Want chocolate? Eat it. Craving fries for your thighs? Go for it. I’m not perfect, I’ve absolutely gone overboard before. But now I try to be more mindful. If I want something “unhealthy,” I eat it… just less of it. And I refuse to feel guilty about it.
That said, your body really does heal and handle stress better when you feed it the good stuff. Emotional eating is real, but so is nourishing yourself back to balance.
Healthy fats (avocado, olive oil, salmon) keep your hormones happy and your skin glowing.
Colorful veggies are magic for your gut—and your gut health impacts your mood way more than most of us realize.
Hydrate like it’s your job. Lemon water, herbal teas… you don’t need to chug gallons, just be consistent. Especially first thing in the morning. Starting your day with a glass of water and lemon slice helps your body cleanse and lubricate from the start!
The goal? Food that makes you feel good, not guilty.
6. Create a Comfort Corner
We all have that one spot in the house where we can relax and get cozy or at least we should. If you don’t, it’s time to make one.
Your home might feel emptier now (I get it), but creating one cozy little corner can feel like a hug. Pile on soft blankets, light a candle, toss down a meditation cushion, or stack your favorite books nearby.
This is your retreat. Your reminder that peace is possible, even if the rest of life feels messy.
I don’t buy myself flowers often, or get massages… because honestly, I’m busy working and taking care of my girls. But every now and then, I treat myself, and I always wonder, why don’t I do this more often?
We all need to do little things for ourselves, whether it’s fresh flowers, a massage, or a pedicure. I get a pedicure about every three months, and I go by myself, no kids in tow. That time? It’s mine.
Fresh flowers on the kitchen table, a fancy face oil, or a booked massage isn’t frivolous. It’s a reminder that you are worth care and kindness, especially from yourself.
Don’t compare yourself to others. I know… easier said than done, especially with social media constantly in our faces. But seriously, focus on you. Take care of yourself, and remember who your real friends are.
Healing doesn’t have to be lonely. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. People who lift you up, not the ones who live for gossip or drama.
Call a friend for a walk, join a book club, try a new class. And here’s a reminder I love: you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So choose wisely.
You don’t have to completely overhaul your life to feel better. It’s the little daily rituals that add up. The ones that remind you you’re strong, worthy, and still very much alive.
So… which one are you going to start tonight?
We founded Split Happens with the idea of bringing together a community of those going through a divorce or relationship breakup. Our vision is to help our members create a whole and fulfilled life, on their own terms. Our team and community will support every step of your breakup journey!
